Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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