We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
