Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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