Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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