I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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