We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
