I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
