It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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