I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
