I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
