you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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