when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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