Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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