Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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