They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
