As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
