She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
