I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
God, I missed his penis.
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