just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize