Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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