i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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