her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
