i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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