I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
