Need sex. Gaining weight.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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