Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you had me at cake vodka
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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