I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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