If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Bring me that man meat
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Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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