Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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