hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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