I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
