we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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