You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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