OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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