I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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