He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
