did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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