i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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