If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
