So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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