at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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