and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Randomize
