Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
