He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
