If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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