Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
