We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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