We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
