Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you still have your period?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i came on her dog
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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