Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize