My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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