i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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